Dear Class,
We're doing something a little different for your latest blog response. You can either 1) post a section of your paper here and ask for specific feedback (e.g. paste your thesis and a body paragraph and ask how clearly that paragraph supports the thesis) or 2) provide feedback on someone's section (once people start posting sections).
As I mentioned, I'll be at a conference for the long weekend, so I'm not sure how much I'll be online. If I get a chance, I'll try to provide some feedback to what you post as well.
Due: By sometime Tuesday (since your papers are due Wednesday)
Announcements:1 ) On Wed, be prepared to discuss not only LOP and the Visual Portfolio, but Jean Anyon's excerpt as well (since we didn't have time for it today). If there's time, we'll have a quiz. 2) Here is the Group Project Assignment: http://www.sartuno.com/classdocs/GroupProjectAssignment.doc
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(Give me Feedback)THESIS: Modern family sitcoms such as "One on One," shows America that families shouldn't be ashamed to talk about everything in the household, this way the children will be more aware and responsible for their actions in everyday life and able to talk to their parents about an issue instead of submersing it. "One on One" displays non-private relationships to stress the importance of communication between the parent and childs sexual activities to teach American families how to deal with and openly talk about these situations.
ReplyDeleteAngelique, I think you need to be a little more specific. You say "everything" in the household...maybe switch that to "shouldnt be ashamed to talk about private affairs in the household, this way children can be informed and take responsibility..." something like that. this is a really interesting idea you've chosen to discuss-definitely goes beyond the obvious. good points about communication in families and dealing directly with private situations!
ReplyDelete(Give me Feedback)THESIS: In the modern family sitcom "George Lopez Show", George teaches his son Max that in order to have a successful future and to be able to support his family, education and hard work is needed.
ReplyDeleteFeedback? Thesis: Unlike the typical 1950’s sitcoms which depict what families are supposed to be like, modern sitcoms focus on what modern families really are.
ReplyDeleteFeedback:
ReplyDeleteam i analyzing enough in this paragraph?
thanks!
The daughter of the family is known as Lisa and is well behaved, very knowledgeable, and has an unending empathy towards animals in need. The best way to describe her is a overachieving tree-hugging saxophone playing artist. She does well in school and is disappointed if she doesn’t receive an ‘A’ on tests and homework. She can be a bit arrogant and a showboat though is reminded time and time again that she’s only 8 yrs. old. A recurring theme however is the writers use her to be the voice of reason and at times the only one who knows what’s best for many situations. Her contribution to the family is, she’s the one who is always brining something new to the table, and almost being an extremist in political and social ideas in the family. One time for instance she became a vegetarian despite strong opposition from her family. In many ways she is the counter balancing of Bart.
feedback for me please.
ReplyDeleteFamily Sitcoms seen today on television such as Malcolm in the Middle, offers a more realistic and relatable theme towards the modern American audience instead of the 1950s sitcoms. For instance, by looking at the culture, ethics, and social status of Malcolm's family, it is clear that modern sitcoms sends a message showing how life is rather than how it should be.
FeedBack!is my thesis clear and does my intro need some work?
ReplyDeleteUnconventional families today have become just as functional and more beneficial to family members then conventional families. Unconventional families provide more care, communication, love, and equality resulting in having a stronger relationship with one another. It’s not about the number of heads counted at the dinner table or the gender of the children that make a family normal. Just as in both articles “Looking for Work” by Gary Soto and “An Indian Story” by Roger Jack; It’s not about the number of people on a dinner table or the gender in the family. It’s simply about the bound you share with one another that makes up a family. Most people misunderstand the meaning or image of a family; a family is simply what you make of it.
Reemie, your doing a good jog writing about what the prompt says. Your intro is clear and easy to understand. I would specify more on what you mean by the last sentence.
ReplyDeleteYou have some minor grammar mistakes. "then" should be "than". There should be a comma after "...and equality". There should be a comma instead of a semicolon after "... by Roger Jack". And the "It's" right after it shouldn't be capitalized. In the MLA form, you also shouldn't use contractions. I would write "It is" instead of "It's."
Hey guys, can I get a feedback please? Thesis supports paragraph? Thank you
ReplyDeleteMy thesis:
Over the decades, most families have moved away from the conventional 1950’s ideal household towards unconventional families that function just as well. Furthermore, these modern American families even benefit its members from traits that the 1950’s didn’t, including maturity and freedom, equality in gender, and racial blending.
My body paragraph:
The children of the fifties had fathers who were able to support their whole family. Their only tasks were to attend school, dress properly and report what they were doing at all times. It seemed to be of little to no freedom at all. As being mentioned earlier, families of today have moved towards divorced parents, extended households, and even adoption of another race. The families today sound to be on a lower level than the fifties. However, unconventional families have benefits because teenagers learn to mature and gain freedom according to their family conditions. A family going through financial hardships in a single parent home may force the teenager to step into the world and find a job. In “Looking for Work”, the narrator, which is Gary himself, explains that he would like to fit in with his white neighbors. Because he felt that his family wasn’t as wealthy, he struggled to find a nickel. Soto stated, “ There was more than an hour of light left, so I took advantage of it and decided to look for work” (Soto 30). This sentence is significant because Soto was only a little boy when he wanted to find a job. His eagerness to help his family taught him to grow which sets him apart from his siblings who only fooled around or hung out with friends. Like Soto, many teenagers today start working at the age of 16 to help their families survive. By working, we gain responsibility, personal experience, team working skills, punctuality, people skills, adult mentality, and we also build character.
THESIS: There are uconventional families that functions just as well as the ideal 1950's families because they are able to provide traits to its members by giving them a better education,moral support, and most importantly love.
ReplyDeletefeedback?
ReplyDeleteUnconventional familie, although not always knowing to be, are very similiar to conventional families and can even provide extra benefits to its member. They also function just as well as their counterparts. Atypical families are positive because they allow individuality in the household and do not put as many restraints on a person as typical families do which allows for more freedom when it comes to thoughts such as ideals, race, and rules.
Body Paragraph 1:
Unconventional families allow individuality because their family roles are not as clearly defined as conventional families are. "An Indian Story" by Roger Jack, shows a great example of just how unconventional families allow this individuality. The boy in this story moved in with his aunt after his mother had passed away and after his father had remarried. "Well son......As much as a I love you, you have been [aunt] Greta's boy since you where knee high....." (Jack 35). This quote shows the roles are not defined because his father was proclaiming that she [the boy's aunt] was both his mother figure throughout his life as well as his father figure. This shows family roles that are not clearly defined because somehow who had nothing to do with his birth is the one that had guided him throughout his life. Unconventional families work out in the end because this boy had no problem growing up with his Aunt as his mother figure. It is proof that as long as you grow up with someone who nourishes you and loves you everything will work out in the end and sometimes they even work out for the better.
Feedback
ReplyDeleteFamilies have been interpreted in many ways in films and sitcoms, like the movie Step Brothers in which the family is made of two grown men who still live with their parents. The movie shows a message that no matter how odd your family may be, you can always find common ground and be able to enjoy one another since in the movie the two grown men, Dale and Brennan, are step brothers who dislike each other at first but quickly realize they have more in common than they thought and together must try to keep their family from breaking up.
If you could please give me feedback
ReplyDeleteIntroductionWhat is family to you, maybe it’s the people you come home to everyday, or maybe it’s a group of friends you consider to be your family, whatever the case may be, the blueprint for what a family is, is becoming more and more skewed every day. We begin to see that modern sitcoms are taking on more diverse families with everyday problems, very much out of the norm of what is usually shown on television. 1950’s sitcoms tried to play merely on what a family should act and look like. The modern sitcom takes a different approach by showing that dysfunction is actually the foundation of a functional family and that disagreements amongst family members, in reality, makes them a much more cohesive unit.
Body Paragraph: There isn’t a certain episode that shows all the dysfunction so I’m going to incorporate several different episodes in order to prove my point, presenting how arguments between Bernie and the kids bring them closer together. In one episode Vanessa’s mother is released from rehab and calls to meet her at their favorite restaurant, she decides not to tell Bernie regarding the fact that they had just gotten into an argument. She sneaks out and goes to the restaurant but her mother never shows up, she calls Bernie crying telling him to pick her up, he arrives angrily but when she tells him what happened he quickly changes his tone. Vanessa looks at him with her eyes full of tears and says, “I really thought she was coming but she just forgot about me again.” Bernie, with his eyes filling with tears, looks at her and tells her “My daddy did that to me too, he never showed up for me either, but I want you to know I’m always gonna be her for you even if sometimes you don’t want me to,” at the most obvious level this shows that Bernie really loves Vanessa but at a deeper level it’s his way of saying that all the arguments they get into is just their way of expressing their love for one another.
Thesis: In current American television series such as South Park, the sitcom portrays modern family life as grueling, full of humor, and raw. There is a large relationship of love and hate, but it all comes down to understanding in the end, which is what family is all about.
ReplyDeleteBody: Homers parenting skills greatly affects the actions of his kids. More so Bart than Lisa as of Bart mainly takes after Homer and Lisa takes after Marge. Homers extremely immature personality teaches Bart to be the same way. Homer is always breaking the rules and then
ReplyDeleteexpects his kids not to. One of the biggest problems about homers parenting that the Simpsons tend to show is how being a selfish parent is just about one of the worst things you can do as a parent. In the simpsons episode Bart would have never got into trouble and this simpsons episode would had never had its purpose. For example Bart and Milhouse are standing in front of the judge because Homer left them and he converses with the judge, “Uh, your Honor, I was chasing the KBBL Party Penguin Prize Patrol”. The judge comes back with, “You abandoned your son to win $40”? Homer selfish self just says, “And a Blue Oyster Cult medallion”. The Conversation between Homer and Judge Harm really shows Homers selfishness as a parent. If Homer would have just put his kids first and got them to school rather then trying to win 40$ then Bart would have not stolen that cop car and everything else that happened in this episode would have happened.
I have read Mathew's body paragraph. He has analyzed it very well in detail. I can clearly see Lisa's character.
ReplyDeleteFeedback? Thesis: Unlike the typical 1950’s sitcoms which depict what families are supposed to be like, modern sitcoms focus on what modern families really are.
ReplyDeleteI am a bit confused. Really are what? Be more specific and explain why modern sitcoms are "what modern families really are" as opposed to those from the 1950's.
Thesis: In current American television series such as South Park, the sitcom portrays modern family life as grueling, full of humor, and raw. There is a large relationship of love and hate, but it all comes down to understanding in the end, which is what family is all about.
ReplyDeleteFeed back: I agree but I think you need to re-word the last sentence.
thesis: In modern American society, Majority of the family live through unconventional style rather than the good old fashion style of conventional. Modern parents seem to have less interest or desire to create a functional family because the conventional family standard has shifted to unconventional. Apparently, conventional families seem to be the successful method of functional family because from what is seen from exterior, it sure looks good. However, Unconventional family can be as functional or even be more beneficial to its member of unconventional family. Benefits from the unconventional family comes great impact from single parent, financial situations and separate home.
ReplyDelete